Our newest member sent this resume along.
Andrew "Mom, Sixxpak is touching me!" Meikle
No. 2 Gutted Carp Place
Ms. Lilly Wombat’s Sanitarium for Wayward Canadians
Extreme West Ireland
Objective: To belong to a squadron that does NOT call me "Wrong Way" or "Crash" or "Flying Target" or "Vulture Meat" or "Born to Die" or … oh, yeah, "Finch Droppings". And then there was "Hawker Auger" and "Cat Toy" and "Goosed" and one I particularly didn’t like, "Pudin’ " and …
Achievements: Dressing self, advanced tissue usage, sock matching, loo marksmanship, elementary word usage, door manipulation, spoon facilitation, (passed it on third attempt), finger inventory accounting and food recognition.
Experience:
- 1968 – 1998: Left home
- 1998 – 1999: worked as a section of wall paneling for a major Canadian restaurant chain
- 2000 – 2000: played in traffic
- 2000 – 2002: healed
- 2003 – 2004: watched 17,519 straight hours of "Red Green"
Education: Named "most improved Fifth Grader" nine years in a row from Madam O’Grady’s Academy for the Extremely Annoying. Graduated "Honorable Mention" in a class of two.
…
Well, it goes on about his achievements in hair brushing and his many attempts to escape to "Neverland" but before you all wander off, welcome to our wonderful watering hole, :FI:CrimsonFox!